| Sunday, December 6th, 2009 |
| 5:46 am |
Cal Johnson (opening theme)
There was a man who shot the man who was the man who shot the man, Cal Johnson. He wore a hat, his favorite hat. He loved that hat, he hated hats. Cal Johnson. He was a dad to zero kids and yet he fathered five. He got shot dead a year ago and yet he's still alive. He's rich beyond his wildest dreams yet never had a dime. A lawman to the very end, he led a life of crime. In all his years of life on earth he never fired a gun yet when it came to Chinese men he shot down every one. He had a horse named Bandit and the horse's name was Clyde. Cal Johnson was born the day he died. |
| Friday, November 13th, 2009 |
| 2:33 am |
On being a Lady Gaga fan..
I've been a closet Lady Gaga fan for awhile now. I just.. I didn't want to admit I found her repetitive annoying music to be 'repetitive and cheerfully-catchy' to me. I don't have her whole album.. just a few MP3's the internet gave me. But they were enough to make me "appreciate" her "work". The following are two of my favorite Lady Gaga parodies on the youtube: Nobody listens to the words meow meow meow meow meow meow.. |
| Saturday, November 7th, 2009 |
| 4:30 pm |
An equivelant first-level spell..
I've reached a certain level in my current life as a clown.. where I can create original jokes out of thin air! That is, jokes that have NEVER BEEN HEARD BEFORE! YES! With any luck I'll be able to get my first mount! (wah wah) Okay, so here it is.. ... Okay, you ready? ... It's the newest joke that I've come up with in a while.. OK go: ...
Q: What do you get when the Tyrannosaurus Rex you're sleeping with turns out to be a gecko?
A: A reptile dysfunction!
Current Music: ..did I mention I can only conjure up kids jokes? |
| Friday, November 6th, 2009 |
| 9:50 pm |
DPMB (don't patronize me bitch)
People, will you stop praising false idols? please, save your souls, accept the Flying Spaghetti Monster as the true creator of the universe, so that you may join us in heaven after death, and enjoy the beer volcanoes and the wonderful stripper factory. May His noodly appendage touch you too, Ramen. |
| Saturday, October 31st, 2009 |
| 4:13 am |
Wolverine Oregons
I feel as though Wolverine didn't do enough witty one-liners in the X-men related films.. I might have also liked to have seen: "In science we call it CLAWS and effect, bub!" {kills bad guys} "Alright, bub. Here is your escape CLAWS!" {kills boss bad guy} "Ok, bub. I guess dat makes me the new Jean CLAWS Van Damme!" {kills Jean Claude Van Damme bad guy} |
| 3:53 am |
In the end, it's our differences.. that make us the same. |
| Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 |
| 4:53 pm |
Disney FINALLY has an African-American princess! Why it's good: Because black girls can finally do princess parties! Thanks, Disney. You're an equal opportunity employer. |
| Monday, October 26th, 2009 |
| 8:31 pm |
Where the Wild Things AREN'T amirite?
So I just saw the film "Where the Wild Things Are" and let me tell ya.. I looked over at Darcy at the end of the film and whispered, "I don't get it!" ... So.. I never read the book. I was biased in the fact that if this movie sucked then I wouldn't be able to fall back on child-hood memories to cushion the blow. Wait.. what? So the kid runs off to join a commune with hippies.. I mean, "monsters", and after getting tired of their bullshit comes back home. The end. ... By the way, has anyone noticed that movies are getting more "realistic"? Remember the Batman that came out in the 90's? It made the 60's Batman look completely campy! The most recent Batman movies starring Christian Bale makes Batman seem less comic book and more like CSI Batman. I dunno. It makes the 90's Batman seem campy by comparison. |
| Sunday, October 25th, 2009 |
| 3:54 pm |
A Jedi Afternoon.
What's today? Like, Sunday, yes? October 25th. Good heavens, it's almost Halloween! Well, all right then. Yesterday I did a LOT of driving. I clowned in San Mateo, visited the Tate's in Folsom, and saw a roller derby game in Stockton.. before heading back home to Santa Clara. I swear I drove 400 miles. Today, I watched a fellow performer do a Jedi party. It's a theme that's grown rather popular these days. Jedi shows up at party, does some magic tricks, teaches kids the way of the force via lightsaber training, and then finishes off with balloon animals. Brilliant! |
| Thursday, October 22nd, 2009 |
| 6:56 pm |
Ever have one of those days.. where everything you see.. reminds you of someone else? No? Huh, huh.. yeah, me neither. ...}}whimpers{{ |
| Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 |
| 7:24 pm |
Q: What do you get.. when you're traveling in a foreign country.. and no hotels will accept you so you have to sleep in some stinky traveler's lodge full of students and mostly young travelers? A: A hostel situation! |
| 2:48 am |
RoRo's MultiPass Theater 3000
..presenting "fake" Ashley:      For the record, I am not in any way affiliated with the woman in these pictures. But I am however, affiliated with the REAL ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) goldfischegirl. These are pictures from an artist on DeviantArt.com whom I happened to stumble across randomly, on accident and say, "Hey! That person looks awfully familiar.." I used one of the pics in a Kanye meme:  |
| 2:03 am |
We'll win this war!
We'll win this war! We'll FREE the slaves and we'll send the Japanese back to Antarctica. |
| Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 |
| 2:23 pm |
A mouthful of ants.
I returned home last night to find to my amusement a blueberry waffle that had been lodged in the toaster from the previous morning. I quickly took said waffle and placed it in my mouth expecting the cool, stale taste of blueberry waffle goodness.. Instead, I received the stinging taste of ant-flavored ants. I quickly spit the mouthful of stale blueberry waffle into the sink and flushed the ants out of my mouth with sink water. The ants which were crawling over my hands and arms, I terminated with extreme displeasure. ... The hot summers here in the South Bay brings with it hordes of ants which we barely keep at bay with ant traps, sprays, etc. But, you leave food out and the next thing you know you've got a thousand of these buggers all over the place. Once I brushed the last of these godforsaken arthropods (they're arthropods, right?) off me and made sure I got the ants out from between my teeth, I recalled how bad the ant infestation was particularly during this summer and was slightly relieved that their numbers had dwindled.. significantly. There's a lesson to be learned here. I don't think I got it though.. something to do with waffles and ants? |
| 1:57 pm |
I Wanna Be The Guy Too!
Roro's Tips on "Gettin' da' girls.." FLIRTING AND DATING - Rule Number 41:"BE the guy that always has something to do." Girl: Hi, stud! What are you doing Wednesday? Guy: Oh, during the day I have to go be a Jedi. But at night, I'm cool! Girl: Wow! You do things and are not purely motivated by your penis! And since you're guided by your own volition, it's less likely you will leech off me (financially and/or emotionally) or overtly depend on me thus allowing me to maintain my strong, feminine sense of independence. Buy me dinner and let's have sex! ... Win! ... Notes/things: - Girls love a guy who has things to do: hobbies, volunteering at a homeless party, something other than stalking her, etc. - I guess it helps if these "things" are altruistic or helps humanity in some way. - It helps immensely if one those "things" is a job. ... This concludes our daily lesson. |
| Monday, October 19th, 2009 |
| 2:16 am |
I like it..
..when I carry out actions or make decisions in my dreams similar to how I would carry out my actions or make decisions in my waking life. I'm either in tune with who I am sub-consciously. Or terribly bland. |
| 1:35 am |
Robot from the Future
I have an R-4! It's a futuristic device (that is, a device from the future) which allows you to copy games onto a Micro-SD Card and play them on your Nintendo-DS. I know-- stealing is wrong, but these are games I wouldn't have paid REAL money for anyway! ANYWAY, I was just playing Cooking Mama 2. It's a simple puzzle game (for kids I guess or simple adults) that teaches you the 101 on Kitchen Basics.. or maybe even maternal skills. I think I just learned how to bake an awesome pizza and give a terrific hand-job. Sewiously! |
| Monday, October 12th, 2009 |
| 4:30 am |
Still a dork.
I don't quite remember the last time I went to a Ren Faire. It must've been at least five years ago. That being said, they haven't changed much. The ticket price will cost you an arm and a turkey leg but the choreographed jousting is worth the price of admission! I had a fun time overall. You hear some of the worst accents humanly possible.. and occasionally some of the best! Two memorable phrases that stuck out this year for me were: "Is that freedom rock? Well, turn it UP, m'lord!" and "Art thou ready to ruuuummmbbblleee!!!" |
| Saturday, October 10th, 2009 |
| 5:06 am |
Someone's rocking my dream boat.
Interesting.. I seem to have temporary misplaced my ability to remember my dreams. I know I just had one. I was in that picture show in my mind having a wonderful time when all of a sudden I woke up and *poof*. It was, like, what what whaaat? |
| Friday, October 9th, 2009 |
| 11:55 pm |
I didn't give the orders for this.. they acted on their own.
Clown-costume suspects charged in Mexico heistAssociated Press Posted: 10/09/2009 08:20:05 AM PDT Updated: 10/09/2009 08:20:15 AM PDT MEXICO CITY — They aren't laughing now. Prosecutors in western Mexico say they have filed robbery charges against two alleged members of a gang of thieves blamed for a "clown jewels" caper. The gang — some of whose members dressed up in clown costumes — burst into a jewelry store in the western city of Guadalajara on July 26 and made off with at least 1.2 million pesos ($900,000) worth of booty. The clown costumes were later found abandoned in a car. In an announcement issued Thursday, the prosecutor's office in the state of Jalisco says two of six suspects have been caught and charged while a third has been detained pending investigation. It says one of the suspects confessed to being the one of the men behind the masks, seeking the "clown jewels." ... Link to Mercury News here. |
